Thursday, August 27, 2009

4 Tactics For Hunting Bigfoot

Two things I have always been fascinated with are Aliens and Bigfoot. For today's story we will cover Big Foot because I probably would have a better chance of hunting him than Aliens. Anyway we have all seen the classic photo of Bigfoot walking in the deep forests of California. And recently there was a group of guys who said they got Bigfoot (see the photo of Bigfoot in the cooler). Only to find out that even after the press showed up of course the Big Foot was a fake. And then there are those adds where the guy in a car offers Bigfoot some beef jerky and then speeds away....fricken classic. My point is even if its garbage everyone or at least most people love hearing this shit.

Well here are my first thoughts when it comes to Fantasy Hunting......I would love to hunt Big Foot. But there is a problem right now with how people are hunting him. Most times I see guys with a rifle with a scope. Or they are riding horses and probably being watched by Big Foot. See I don't think Bigfoot is very nice and I don't' think he wants to be found. And if he is found that fkr is not going to lay down and die. He is going to eat you just as soon look at you. So having said that I have come up with 4 tactics on how I would hunt Big Foot.

First off no rifle with a scope (why?). If Bigfoot found you he is going to come at you probably from the top of a tree (like a wood tick jumping down on his prey). Your not going to have time to find Big Foot in a scope. No I totally recommend what I think is becoming my weapon of choice the AA-12. If that beast so much as winks in your direction you open up on him with 300 rounds per minute. Whats more the AA-12 has a range of about 300 yards. And if that ain't enough you can literally mow down the trees before Big Foot has a chance to hide behind them. If you can afford one I highly recommend you pick one up.

Another issue could arise in the fact that maybe Big Foot gets the drop on you and knocks the AA-12 out of your hands. This is a tough spot for you because now he's going to grab your throat and take a bite. Whoa....big fella its time you say hello to my little friends (Smith and Wesson pistols)...Pull one of these 500's out of your ass / shoot first and ask questions later. For roughly $1400 dollars you can pick up a little added protection.

Big Foot might be immune to bullets (or at least might be able to take a lot of pain) so one of your final options would be to defend yourself with a knife. You can pick one of these up at Wall mart or any hardware store. You always have to have a knife for hunting and or when hunting Big Foot.

Above all this is most important....please listen carefully. One thing I have noticed in all the shows I have watched is there is always 2 people hunting Big Foot at one time. Why the hell is that I have thought for all of these years? Today it just dawned on me....If tactic #1 - #3 fail you need someone to knock down so Big Foot kills him first. That should give you an extra minute to close the distance between you and your truck...Now if you 3 miles in the woods I would say you better be a great runner.......................And after trying to kill Big Foot with guns and knives he probably ain't going to like you very much. Its ok to break down and cry as your running for the truck....Bottom line I would guess Big Foot, if he's really out there is like that first movie "Predator"....and he was an mother f........Come to think about it he didnt like being hunted either...
Happy Hunting....
The Black Widow

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The Black Widow