Motley Crue (how music keeps you alive)

Recently I have been talking a lot about my past 4 years and how I have had a rough go of it. Also recently I have been trying to reconnect with many of my original friends. It just so happens that Friday I got a surprise visit from my best friend in the Universe. He had brought his little girl along and she's the same age as my twins. So we all had a nice visit and the kids played and we were able to talk about old times.

Many times in High School when together I listened to Motley Crue in the car and we talked about life and where we were going. He served in Iraq and many other Countries and now resides in Texas. One thing in life I always say is you cant take money with but you can take your memories. And that is what life is always about...."making memories"...

Throw out everything negative you know about Motley Crue and just think of them as a talented band. What is so inspirational about them and other bands is the ability to pull a lyric and or a note and combine it to give you something spiritual. And once this is done it also gives your mind an ability to flash back to early years and maybe make you feel a little younger. Maybe not just the Crue but maybe you like Mozart or Willie? Think about the talent it takes to make music. I am not worthy.....

Recently I've noticed that many movies are now playing a lot of songs from the 80's. When this happens it takes me back to moments in time that I have talked about before. Last night my friend wanted to see Hot Tub Time Machine. A funny movie but for my friend and I, the funniest part was in the end. The main character in the movie was on stage posing as Vince Neil. To us this was hillarious becauseVince Neil can sing and I'm sure this actor cannot. We laughed our asses off and I was so happy to be spending time with my old friend......

The point of the story is not everyone loves Motley Crue or Hot Tub Time Machine. But there are very few moments in life when you can share a laugh with friends and make memories. And there are even fewer moments when you can share times with your best friends. My friend and I we have not laughed out loud together in over 25 years. Go out today and talk to some of your old friends....Call them on the phone or send them a letter. You will never have friends like you had in High School. Not all of us can be talented and play for Motley Crue. But we can all have friends and make great memories...I have been blessed in the last month to have seen many of my old friends.

Take a moment today and put a smile on your face...Call and old buddy.

The Black Widow....

Living Life

For my weekly readers I will be leaving today and back on Monday 08/02/10. But for today I want to talk to you about Living Life. I can't seem to stop talking about it but when I went bankrupt 4 years ago it took a toll on my life. Many people hated me (banks etc)but what I did not know is even big corporations can go bankrupt (the thought never crossed my mind)...The whole point is this story is what I did with my life since. When your growing up you always think your famliy will be there for you. But to be honest there are many times in your life that family cannot help you with what you have going on.

So this is the point in life when you find out what your really made of. In my case I went into bankrupcy for 500K. One day while losing my house I looked at my shitzu. At the time many apartments we were looking at would not take dogs. Also he was one of my only friends I could talk to because my wife hated me at that time. So I looked at him and said yes my little friend we will also find a way to keep you.. I found out even if I took an apartment I would have paid more in rent than I was for my house. So I started thinking of a way to keep my house (started looking for an investor).

My whole thing was I wanted my kids life to stay normal...Stay in their house/ not have to move and keep the same friends. I took the brunt of everything and kept all the negativity and threats from my family (phone calls from banks/threats from investors etc). Many things I endured they have no idea about.

What I wanted to talk to you about today is your ability to be tuff in hard times. There are people like me with a since of humor that without it have nothing. With everything I went through I found my since of humor kept me at peace. It is the one thing that God gave me (No Man) can take from me.

So my favorite story (when I went bankrup) was the hot dog story. I was driving my van around trying to figure out things and it was lunchtime and I was hungry. The day before I had thrown a hot dog on my van floor and left it there in a wrapper to throw out the next day. Well it was still there and I only had gas money for the van and no money for food..So I picked up my hot dog and ate it for lunch that day. As I was driving I laughed my ass off because I thought (who in their right mind would do such a thing?). At that moment I knew my life sucked and I had to get off my ass and fix things. At that moment I accepted the fact that I was about to lose everything and had to figure out how to take care of my family.

The thing is I hear so many people in the world with negativity. Now granted I agree not having a job sucks and so does losing your home. I pray for these people all the time because I lived it. But my point of the story today is keep your SPIRIT alive. Find something that is fun that you like to get through every day....For me it was playing with my kids or finding a new project to work on. I'm also a photograpy buff and love outdoor photos or movies. If you let yourself get to depressed that simply is not a good thing.

Life "is" what you make of it. Go out and find something good about it and don't let it get you down all the time. Pick one day a week and have that be your day. No phone calls....no family members just sit at the park and watch the ducks (or take your dog along and have a quite day). We each have somthing to offer in life so when life gets you down figure out what that is and be happy at least that you have somethign to offer.

It's allready August and pretty soon this year will be done and you will be another year older. Time flies.....remember death.

The Black Widow

My BP Boycott

First before I tell you why I'm boycotting BP gas stations let me tell you what I think about Oil Drilling. First I think our Country needs to drill or we will be at the mercy of other Countries (they can raise our prices etc). But here is what I think of BP. Not only did they do a lousy job of cleaning up the mess down South but I think they have other issues coming down the pike. I saw a documentary last night on the Alaskan pipeline and it looks like BP is also trying to cut corners there. Cutting out jobs and not maintaining equipment etc (basically my theory is they may be creating more safety issues). Any maybe it's not really BP I'm pissed at but just large corporations fucking with people.

So today I quit going to my BP station where I live. You can all do what you want but I've lived with a corporation that screws people (the company I work for). And my thought last night is I can do something about this. I can cut out the money I give them and hopefully that is at least some strain on them buying pencils or paper clips for the office.

Coffee and Doughnut in the morning......$1.50 x 52 weeks....(I'm getting fat anyways)...= $390.00

Gas for both of my cars......just a ball park but I'm guessing I'm in the $3000.00 / year.

Odds and ends (butter, eggs etc) add on about $100.00 throughout the year.

So as of today *I'm cutting out at least $3500.00 from BP......The less money they have ....the less cash in their pockets.

Again its not the fact they had an oil spill. I'ts the way I think they run their company. Everyone has choices (even BP) I just chose to wash my hands of them.

The Black Widow

GOING HOME (America)

This weekend Im heading home to see my parents for the first time in 9 months. I'm actually quite happy about that and love going back to see the family and the farm. One thing I noticed since I had kids is I really look forward to each and every season with them. Each season in Wisconsin has something fun to offer. But looking back on my life now the best time of year for me has always been the Fall. I use to love Halloween and of course after that was deer hunting and football season.

The reason I love Fall now is the tree's start to turn and the chill is in the air which will soon mean the beginning of the Christmas season. Now I know what your saying how can I be talking about Christmas in July? To me once July is over August goes by like the snap of your fingers. And once that is done it's September and before you know it......it's Christmas..

Anway I'm looking at the photo above and it is not mine. It was created by someone else but that's the cool thing about painting and photography. It does not have to be yours but all you have to do is look at it and the photo can take you back to a moment in time when you were happy. Whenever I look at a farm photo (and especially of in the Fall) I think of my parents farm and what they went through to feed and cloth us. I think how in the world did they do it? And then I think if they can do it I can do it.

There is something to be said about America in that it was built by people who worked their ass off and did not know when their next meal would come. But not only did they have to feed themselves they had to feed their kids. This Country was built by your parents and mine and no matter where they are today, take a moment and be proud of what they did for you. When I see a photo like the one above I just instantly think of how fortunate I am to have the family that I have and to live in this Country. I'm happy for the opportunities my kids will have and hopefully their kids as well.

This weekend I'm going to take a vacation. I'm going to take a load off and think about the things I love. I'm going to take some time with my family and sit back and relax on the farm. Life goes by pretty fast so sometimes it is true what they say (sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses). Remember when you were 19 and wish you were 26? Don't do that anymore it just goes so fast.

Have a great weekend everyone and I will talk with you all next week. Very soon Fall will come and with that plan something fun with your kids.

The Black Widow

The Libray of Alexandria

The library of Alexandria.....Existed somewhere in the neighborhood of 283BC. Can you imagine what we would have known about the world if this library still existed? I'm sure the thing had tons of papers on Aristotle and other philosophers of the day. What I recently discovered was an interesting procedure that took place at the library (or so I have read). When ships would come into Alexandria they would take the books from the ships/ whether they were from Eastern shores or Western shores (copy the book) and give it back to its owners.

Now think about that...First off ships came from all over the world and if this library material still existed, we would have known many things about many people from all over the world. In today's world if you want to make a copy you go to a photocopy machine and make one. Back then they had scribes writing by hand all day to translate a copy of a book. At one time this library is said to have had a million scrolls. Maybe what I find so interesting about the library is I named my son after Alexander The Great (I thought his history was fascinating). But what I did not know until today was the character who may have inadvertently burnt the library down. And that my friends was Julias Caesar (who also had an intersting history).

What would we have found in writings on Aliens at that time? Or was there any mention about God? History is an amazing thing and I think it's a shame that many people want to change how we teach our kids actual History.


The Black Widow

COMMON SENCE (A Goal To Be 1000#)

I think many people in the world are like the photo above. They are a ship that is out of control and is going to crash. Recently I heard about a woman who has a goal of becoming 1000# so that she can get in the guiness book of world records. Currently I'm 6'3" and at one time I was 265# and let me tell you something that was a lot of weight to carry. Now I'm still at 228# and trying to lose more. But what happens in a persons mind where they think..."Oh yea I have to weigh more..." I have to weigh 1000# What is going on in their brain?

Apparently this lady has a website that people can "pay" to log on and watch her eat. First off I must say I will say a prayer for this lady because I personally think there is something wrong with her way of thinking. But on the other hand who would "pay" to watch someone eat? Is this world so fucking boring that there is nothing else to do than to grab your credit card/ pay/and watch somone eat? I've been around the block a little bit but I think this story in my mind about takes the cake.

I am somewhat fat person...I have nothing against fat people..And I think there are people who have health issues where they simply cannot lose weight. But I really have a problem with people who try to gain FAT on purpose as in this case. There is just simply something wrong with treating your body in this way.

This lady I heard about simply has no "Common Sense".....

The Black Widow

Ancient Aliens Vrs God

While I don't put a lot of weight into them (And I know they are Trash) I love to follow stories on Bigfoot, Ancient Aliens and Ghosts.

Recently though I saw a show on Ancient Aliens. And in it the guests of the show were talking about how the bible has it wrong. Maybe it was not God who came down from the Heavens, maybe it was Aliens. Now Im a guy that grew up Catholic and I went to church every day before school and on weekends. So I will be the first to admit that I may not believe everything in the bible (some parts maybe are stories passed down from generation to generation) and I believe that many religions have parts that are just that. Stories that are passed down from generation to generation. However in each Religion there is a God or a person etc.

So Im sorry to say no...I don't think Ancient Aliens are the Gods...Why?

Newtons Law of Motion ("every body will persist in it's state of rest or of uniform motion (constant velocity) in a straight line unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed on it.

So to me the as a young child I believed in God maybe because my parents did. But as I got older and I found out about the big bang and Newtons Law and that sealed the deal for me. Did Aliens create the Big Bang? No.....Could they have come to this planet? Yes.....could they exist? Yes.......Could God have created Aliens ...Yes...

Do you know out of all the Galaxies ours is the youngest one out there?. There are billions of Galaxies and planets out there. If our Galaxy is the youngest that means there are other planets and Galaxies which have had had millions of years to run through evolution before us.

And yes I think there is a place where Evolution and Religion go together. Perhaps we all came from monkeys (evolved from them) Im ok with that.

But in the end....Something......or Some "One".....had to create that big bang....There had to be a force..... And I'm sorry to say Ancient Aliens did not do that. Maybe we were all a zygote at one time and we evolved to get here. If it were not for the Big Bang my friends.....We would not be here...I also do not believe as the Athiests tell you....the Big Bang...Just happened.

The Black Widow

Along Came A Spider (SPOOKY...YOU WONT SLEEP TONIGHT)

So my wife and I pride ourselves on keeping a very clean house (ok to be honest her more than I). However every now and then we have a spider infiltrate our house. Many of you know I am afraid of spiders. If you don't know that you do now...The thing that is I have lived now in my house for 10 years but only recently have I found a short FAT black spider....On his back I saw a little white but not much...Now a while ago my wife had commented about she too found a black spider in our bed downstairs..(I am serching for this spider)....

Only recently have I found these and I do not think they are Black Widows. The thing is spiders are every where. Even if you lift up your covers tonight and there is not one there (which I catch myself doing every now and the)....it does not mean he or she (a friendly spider) cannot join you in bed after you are sleeping....Give me fricken snakes/rats....or anything/ but spiders.....I hate spiders....

Now here is where I take a jump......It is a proven fact that in the with the big bang theory many materials were thrown all over space. And inside many of those materials were the sparks of life that were created here on this planet. It is my belief that many life forms that are on earth today travled from other planets and came here on meteorites etc.

Just bear with me....Im getting to the point. The Universe is a huge place and there are millions of stars and galaxies out there. If my theory is correct (in that spider life was indeed shot here from another planet)........They could then in fact actually exist on other planets themselves.....

When I look at spiders to me they are like Aliens of another life form..."THAT"....is what freaks me out about them...They are smart...agile and they hide from you....A dog does not hide from me nor a cat or a cow....But a spider........sure he will eat flies.....maybe an insect or two....But in my mind I think they were sent or came from another planet......to torment me....If indeed we ever go to another planet or galaxies....Men...or Women...will never be rid of Spiders...I will bet on other planets..if my theory is true, spiders will be bigger and even more scarry.....

Spiders "Freak Me Out"....Enjoy you sleep tonight.....

The Black Widow....

The Vikings

Lately I have been fascinated with the Vikings of the old lure. Last week I saw a show on my History channel which thought they may have already been in the New World before Columbus was. Before I get to my small story let me first say I have promised to read a book on them soon.

Now....I cant make it a fricken day without having a mountain dew. So this week I told myself I'm going to live like a Viking and not have any soda pop. Normally my day at work is stressful and I eat crap all day. Can you imagine that your a Viking and you say OK today we're getting in a boat and traveling about 300 or 1000 miles. Wait....did they have coffee back then? What the hell did these people eat for breakfast? (I'm guessing potatoes?).....I sure as hell know that if they were hungry between meals they did not eat a snickers....or they did not go to the vending machine and grab a dew like I do.

The thing is my second job I have I take care of apartment buildings in the winter. I have to shovel snow for the older people so they don't slip on the ice etc. Sometimes its like 40 below below and when I get home to my house it's toasty warm....I usually fall asleep... Now imagine your a Viking / its winter and your traveling in the Ocean with freezing water coming into your boat...There is no little house to escape and be warm in ...you either got tough like a mother fucker or you died.

From what I've read so far a very interesting people....I'm very interested in the Roman people also but lately what fascinates me about the Vikings is I believe they had the balls to travel to the new world..And if that is the case they did not have snickers and soda on their trip. So I should be able to survive one week without Dew...My vow to myself for the day.

If anyone out there can recommend a kick ass book on the Vikings.....please let me know..

The Black Widow

The Sebatical

In a way I have taken a sabbatical from my blog. Not that I wanted to but as many of you know I have been working on a website that is now in 26 countries and 38 U.S. states. I worked on that baby for 2 years but alas we have a 17K dollar hurdle to over come and I think our program may die.

At any rate today I want to talk about living within your means a bit. As many of you know about 4 years ago I started a mfg company (raised 250K) and went bankrupt. Lost my house and had to get an investor to buy it back ( I had to pay him 10K above what we agreed on to get my house back). To do that I have been working two jobs now for 4 years and it has been tuff....

My wife and I have cut down many family trips and I'm sure the relatives are getting sick of it. What that means is for the last 4 years instead of heading to northern WI every month we have taken that money ($75.00 one way) and thrown it at a credit card or a bill. You know by the time you hit the road/ pay for gas and eat...its like there goes $200.00.

This is truly painful because I love my family a lot. I see the nephews and nieces growing up and I am not there. When I look at it I have almost dug myself out of a 10K hole in 4 years by working like a mother.

In the end I'm sorry to all my relatives for not being able to get up north. But the bottom line is if I don't have it I don't spend it. Nor do I increase the amount of money I owe on my credit card and think...."oh yea I will pay for it later".......To be honest its this frugal attitude that has kept my two kids in a house. I have faltered here and there but the bottom line is they are still in their house. To do that I will have to be with my family only in spirit for a while. In January of 2011 I shall finally be caught up and maybe next year I can make some more trips.

And finally let me leave you with this. Anyone out there know how to drop mountain dew from my diet? I'm addicted to that crap ......

The Black Widow